Here I am again, staring at this white screen, with the intent to fill it up in such a manner that I am able to express myself to those who may be reading. Much to say on this day, as I apparently am not so Beloved in the eyes of some. But before I get to my ridiculously jam packed hour in which I realized that some people prefer their coffee "Beloved free", I'll give a quick update on the new halfway school.
It's crazy how each institution has its own quirks, yet at the end of the day, crazy is the universal thing. I've got a Charles update. He has officially made his way entirely off of my ish list, maybe the first in this blog's short history to accomplish such a feat. Unfortunately, he would still qualify for any discussion we have about boxes of rocks, but at least his attitude is in check. He does have a brain, I think. It just serves little purpose in my room. This is how it works. There are 2 teachers, Gobment and myself. Strictly speaking, his test results are far superior in the subject area that Gobment teachers. However, he still has no practical value in my class, other than that he keeps the crows away. And he's got a low center of gravity, which is just a nice way of saying that he's so short he has to get the librarian to get books off of the bottom shelf for him.
Griffin is still a HAN. I would tell you what that means, but I don't use that type of language. Although I fully plan on using that type of language in just a few short paragraphs. Anyways, I won't waste valuable space on the blog beating a dead horse to death. We all know he's crazy. And his yellow teeth have been known to illuminate my classroom, with the lights on and the blinds open. Them thangs sharp too...look like the top of a picket fence. The way they protrude from his mouth, it's in describable. But I'll try anyways. It looks like his teeth are giving his top lip the heisman. Ok enough about that little ugly niggra. Time for my most customary Gobment joke of the day. She got more names than the Dallas Cowboys' preseason roster. I be like got dang!
Let's talk new characters. Let me tell you about Danica "Puff", she who makes me think twice about Swift's Modest Proposal (this is a piece that advocates the cannibalism of children). Clear satire, but I think he may have been on to something. This dumb arse...asks so many dumb arse questions. On top of that, she craves attention...probably a whore too, but that's just speculation. We'll call her an attention whore anyways. So I'm asking a very straightforward question about what ideas they have as far as classroom rules. By simple, I mean "What do you think classroom rule number 4 should be?" Do you know this WHORE (of attention) raised her hand, and when called on, said "My papa is the crossing guard up here." If you've ever seen me try to keep a straight face, you know that my face was anything but straight. It was frowned up somethin serious. I diffused that situation and decided to roll with her punches. Did I mention her micro braids, or whatever the flyin f they are that go down to her knee pit? She looks like her actual hair would be nappy, as indicated by the naps present in her braids. Well she has micro braids, on a macro head, with a micro brain, yet a macro mouth. She all messed up. Well we were talking about changing and growing and I mentioned that I'm sure some of them had grown over the summer, gotten taller, hair got longer. That whore met her match though, when she said "Yeah, my hair is LONG!" This other female dog that be talkin a lot, who is insignificant to the blog outside of this fact, has really long, silky smooth hair. She's a mutt. Mutt says, "That's not even yo hurr (direct quote)."I would have said something to her about classroom etiquette, but it was a true statement. AND she set herself up for that one. She asks so many off topic questions that I finally just told her that she's not permitted to talk to me, hand raised or not. This blog is long!
Ok, stay with me, so I can tell you how bitches be trippin. Went to our championship softball game last night, which we lost. Unfortunate, yet incredibly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. What's not irrelevant is that I nearly got kicked out by an umpire who takes his night job way more seriously than Cocoa down at the strip club. He kept warning my team that we had too many men out of the dugout. I was NEVER one of the ones receiving the warning, yet I made one joke about him sucking, just like my girlfriend (Hardball reference) and he told me that he would take his last warning really seriously. That totally stifled my creativity, and subsequently, may have been the reason we lost. That, and he did legitimately suck.
So after the game, we're all walking out and I'm not bitter about the loss because, well, it's softball. I was just still in disbelief that this umpire had no sense of humor. This is when I found out that Beloved aint chit in some people's eyes. I was telling teammates that I was disappointed that I had to end up getting a warning without even saying a word, which kept me from being able to say most of the stuff I would normally say, when the wife, girlfriend, tramp, pornstar, whatever she is, of one of my teammates yells, emphasize YELLS, out the following. "It don't matter you shoulda just shut the f*ck up then and you wouldn't have to worry about it. Just shut the f*ck up like you tell your kids with all that bullish*t." My initial thought was "how does she know that I tell the kids that?" Ok, that wasn't my initial thought because it was actually "Bitch who the hell are you and what impact have you had on this team?" Had I said that, however, I would not have been Beloved. I kept it cordial, strictly out of respect for my teammate, and I let her get her shine. As if she hasn't already had enough. She look like a lock to be on 16 and Pregnant or Teen Mom or Real Sex or one of them shows that would accentuate her hookerish disposition and her trashy appearance. She was foul for that, but hey, what can you say? At least I had taken my blood pressure medicine that day because that woulda been one of those "close to the edge" statements. Proof that bitches be trippin'.
That wraps up this edition. Blogs get more and more obscure, as I do more lesson planning, LOs, DOLs, LOLs, LMAOs and all kinda little stuff. Then they wanna say we should extend the school day and year even more. These folks is crazy. Life goes on. Til next time-
-CantevensignmynameBelovedbecauseapparentlyitsnottrue
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