Sidenote: As much as I enjoy a good Yoda monologue, I also enjoy a good Spock monologue. Not a big Star Trek fan either, but that guy sure knows how to put his words together.
Ok, so let me tell you about these clowns. As predicted, Griffin and Professor Charles have reprised roles in this ongoing debauchery of a saga. Ironically, I may have misjudged Charles, in my haste to have material suitable for a blog. It is also entirely possible that I did not misjudge him but have grown accustomed to his insolent, yet markedly less disruptive, antics. Either way, he has shown himself to be a valuable asset. Not intellectually, of course, because...well. But he works well with others, specifically one student who requires special attention. I have a bit of a soft spot for kids who show compassion for those unable to help themselves, so he is well on his way to getting out of my over-sized doghouse.
His companion, however, shall remain. This boy is the epitome of *insert something ingrown that annoys people*. He's like that booty hair you just can't get the turd off of (those are called dingleberries btw). I also call them booty chips. He's like that one track that's coming unglued but you don't wanna try to fix it because then you'll mess up another one. He's like that lace front wig.......well, he's like all lace front wigs. Am I the only one that thinks "track", in its context for this blog, should be spelled in a way that indicates its utterly and inappropriately ghetto clients? Traque, trakk, t'rack...or we could add the quintessential marking of niggacentric presence. La', Sha', or D'-track. I digress. Little Griffin has this smirk, this permanent smile in the midst of wrongdoing, that is exponentially less endearing than that of the Joker. Why less endearing? For one, the Joker's teeth were straight. His look like an open accordion, which is ironic because they don't appear as if they've ever been on one accord. The Joker's were also white. Look like somebody just slung glued corn in his mouth and told him to smile. Urgh. I am generally disgusted by his reaction to correction, but I have learned to deal with him. Now, if only he weren't so unintelligent. Can't win em all.
Remarkably, he is NOT number one on Uncle Mike's s*** list (Bad Boys II reference). He was swiftly, and DECISIVELY, passed up by a classmate of his. We'll call him "Cuervo". No, that does not indicate the drunken stupor with which he presents himself to others, however it fits as well. Talk about defiant...talk about a clown...talk about someone who has no regard for rules, regulations, authority. If God told him to "enter in" he would jump down to hell just because he doesn't want anybody telling him what to do for a period to extend beyond a few seconds. I was feeling like I missed something, like I was the only one ready to slam him, when my esteemed colleague, Gobment, confirmed that she shared similar sentiments. Little Cuervo's list of character flaws includes, but is not limited to:
- failure to walk in a straight line
- lack of desire to face forward AND shut up in line
- inability to listen intently to instructions (which the jury is still out on)
- disruptive comments
- talking to hear himself talk
- wanting to enter into clown school as a profession
- being ugly
- being short
- not being gifted intellectually
- uncouth
- unscrupulous
- without morals
Naturally, kids find amusement in some of his jokes, but not all. That's not his gimmick. He likes to make outlandish comments and pose ridiculous questions to see if he can elicit a response from myself and/or his classmates. Most of them will do anything to get on the teacher's good side, so they try to respond for me. I think they are starting to pick up on the fact that he has them in the palms of his hands. This is why I say the jury is still out on his comprehension of instructions. I will say something, and he will (5 seconds later) ask if he can, or is supposed to, do the complete opposite. Even when I show him examples of the task I want completed, he asks these stupid questions. Friday, I decided that I would not be able to hold my tongue much longer. "Don't talk to me" was the command I gave. Any time he spoke to me after that, his response was the same. I will be visiting his living accommodations expeditiously. That should get me the permission that I currently seek.
Enough about stupidity, I mean the kids...wait, I mean stupidity. My band of misfits, as well as myself, are tired. Real tired! You wanna know why? There have been changes made in our routine as educators. We are required to serve extra time, like OJ, each day after we are done in the trenches each day. I know I'm fairly new to the profession, but usually, teachers spend time after school straightening and preparing for each upcoming day. Yeah...not happening. The days are so long. So long that I actually spent a good portion of my Saturday preparing my classroom because I was just that far behind. I'd complain, but meetings with the new "in charge" people are often little more than broadway productions and collections of resources (clips) combined to form an entire movie series. It's enough for a brother to start drinking again. I'm a full 2 weeks sober and now this. If I do start drinking again, I'll have to hit up Gobment, who apparently lives at a distillery. She stay drinking somethin. I think she may have more bottles in her house than she does names, which is a feat in and of itself. Take that back. While she has a bar that rivals "Cheers", where everybody knows her name, she also has more names than Santa's naughty list. I mean I guess she just believes in bulk...alcohol by the bulk, names by the bulk's bulk. I should just start calling her Sam's Club.
That's all for now. I have sleep to achieve, lesson plans to create, food to eat, old people jokes to perfect, tv to watch, monologues to read, inappropriate stories to tell my classes......not all in that order. We are also starting up soccer, and softball playoffs are coming up a week from now. I'm plenty busy. I wish I could clone myself 12 times and borrow only a small portion of the names old woman Gobment is currently occupying.
Post script-I was able to sit at the house for much of yesterday, after 2 o'clock, without muttering a single sound until this morning. It was amazing. I really appreciate the silence. You should try it some time.
Be to the loved
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