Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, but I bet it had something to do with a woman. Isn't that the way it usually works? Maybe a woman sent him over there on a death mission to see if he really loved her. Maybe she sent him to the store, hopefully to get some food for her to cook or some cleaning supplies, or.....let me stop. Or maybe there was actually a woman over there that he wanted to *get to know*. Any way you slice it, these kids can probably tell us why the chicken crossed the road.
By the way, that totally had nothing to do with this blog, I just thought, "What better way to begin this episode than with a totally unconnected, downright digressive, epically inappropriate topic?"
It's been almost a month, and I haven't talked to y'all. I figured an update may be in order. I have these totally ridiculous stories, every day, that I could share, however folks got me working like a Hebrew slave. Or any slave for that matter. I'm working like a slave, period. [Lol I typed the word "period" and then I put a period. What if we wrote out the form of punctuation we wanted to use in our sentences(question mark) That ish would get extremely tiring(Exclamation Point) Not to mention(comma) that would probably get on somebody(apostrophe)s nerves.] Ok, I'm done..................
..................Had to go back and add brackets to that digression. Back to my life as the modern day version of Kunta Kinte. Not only are the kids being very usually obnoxious, but now I also have tons of things to do that have resulted from their ineptitude. I mentioned a month ago that I am a very mediocre, at best, educator. I would, however, consider myself to be slightly above average as a motivator. Yeah, apparently I'm wrong about that as well. The period between Thanksgiving Break, which is now only 3 days, and Christmas Break is the most Godforsaken period in my short teaching career. Literally Godforsaken...its pits of despair strongly resemble those which Beelzebub uses as captivity for the wicked. In fact, I don't think Hell could match its level of miserableness. It's been historically miserable for 3 years running, and it does not appear that this period desires to give up the stronghold it has on this dubious distinction. Let me explain this process in some sort of sequence, beginning with the kids' actions, leading to several reactions, and culminating in duty being thrust upon dear old Beloved.
First of all, these kids...are bitches. I think I'm actually being nice by putting it that way. Since the dawn of time, educators have used exams, assessments, tests, whatever you want to call them, to measure the comprehension and growth of their darling students. Well, at this halfway institution, we follow those principles and precedences that have been set by our predecessors, and we even manage to add a few. We won't get into that last part, at least not now. So, exams, we use them to see what our kids know and what they need to work on. Apparently, "everything" is not socially acceptable in the field of education. After much preparation and slaving over a hot computer screen, Beloved managed to come up with a 6-weeks Exam, which would measure each child's grasp of an entire 6 weeks worth of material. [slight digression to follow] These exams are to be called "general exams". Now first of all, let's please, for the sake of all that is good, define the word "general". Had a minute to do so? Great. Well, it is my understanding that general brings some type of majority into consideration. Like, it's typical, widely recognized, almost universal, right? If I'm wrong, get off my page lol. By virtue of my understanding, I put together a comprehensive, thought provoking exam that took me in excess of 4 hours to complete. I even prepared the kids for the type of information they would be expected to know. 1 day before said general exam, not even a full day actually, I am told that I cannot use this exam because my new teammate, Mrs. Ariguerrero, will not be able to use the same exam. I forgot the most important rule of all...this test needs to be general enough for everyone to use it. By everyone, I mean all 2 of us. Because that's what general means, right? It doesn't mean the consensus, but rather it constitutes only 2 people doing the same thing :-/ Sufficed to say, I was a bit more disgruntled after getting this news. I had to go find a test that looked nothing like the one I promised those dumb arse kids, and you know how dumb arses do when things don't look right to their dumb arses.
As I'm sure you predicted, the kids absolutely BOMBED this "general exam", which by the way, was not common at all. Did I say common? I meant general. As much as I understood their performance, my issue with them was the effort they put forth. These tests were different, but I don't believe they were so hard that the kids could not have done well if they followed the strategies that they had been given previously. These mutha suckas didn't do not one thing they were supposed to do to prove their answers. Consequently, I added them to my "pissed list". It's an ever-growing list that, while getting longer, shall never surpass Gobment's list of names, which grows twice as fast. She got so many names, they had to print her birth certificate on poster board. She old as The Flood though so this was before poster board. It's really just a collection of pieced-together papyrus leaves, that stretch as long as the ark that Noah used as shelter from The Flood. Dang, that's long. Anyways, my pissed list grew so long that week that I didn't think there was any way for me to be more pissed. Wait.for.it..................
I'M TOO PISSED!!! Now that students apparently don't know what they're doing, I'm left to answer questions about why this is so. I'm also left to compile data in my spare time (wtf is that?). Spare time is a luxury that common, I mean general, folks get to enjoy. How is my data-compiling coming along? I'll let you know when I finish. It's not due until like last Wednesday lol. I need to find a high paying side hustle so that when I don't complete things, like I currently have not, I can justify my "IDGAF" philosophy and my "KMA" attitude. I mean, the philosophy and attitude are currently being exuded through body language and tone, but I don't think I can justify them without a backup plan. It would also probably feel better to be able to express them out loud, although I think that may be what they're calling insubordination these days...people are so picky. Anyways, I'm actually gonna do some of this work now, so that I don't have to do ALL of it tomorrow. I'll then be able to finish my story and tell you about a some kids, because I know that's the real reason yall read this thing anyways. Just wanted to vent a bit.
Part II tomorrow (I think). Until then.....
Beloved
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