Shat!! How do you know when something is really true, as opposed to just an anomaly? When you have to devote a part 2 to chronicle the continued ASSassination of one, Beloved. I mean, quite frankly, Beloved may need to be stripped of his distinction soon, if these issues persist. And trust me, they are likely to persist...at least until June 11th. What's special about that day? It's the day I will be free from the tyrannical reign of one who will come to be known as "Tractor", formerly Mrs. Piggy.
To my friends in the business of self-inflicted pain, known as education, this will be easily relatable. If you are a friend who does not understand how ridiculous a profession this is, you may have no interest at all in reading beyond this point, unless you like degrading comments and seeing me call people bitches and tell you how they be trippin. Then, I would stick around.
Note: The events that follow are in no way a reflection of the real life of the author. You may proceed.
Note: The events that follow are in no way a reflection of the real life of the author. You may proceed.
Before I get into the struggle between good and evil, where the line has become increasingly blurred and I am no longer certain whether I represent the good or the evil, I've got news from my little basketball team. These kids annoy the heck out of me because they don't pay much attention, but they are mine. I guess when you're between 5 and 7 years of age, it's a little difficult to always focus. Hell, I zone out in meetings and I'm a little older than them. I love them though. So much so, that one of the girls is gonna be playing on my soccer team this coming March, much to the chagrin of Luby. She always cryin 'bout something. Apparently, she thinks the girl should be playing on the team with her son, even though she never even invited her to play. Anywho, I kinda miss seeing Luby on a more regular basis. Now, we just see each other at basketball practice and games. But it's hard to talk about people when you're coaching.
I digressed. What was my dang point? Oh yeah, so we lost our basketball game last night to the kids on the church team. Shocking that they got allllllll the calls from the referee. Well the "church kids" were calling my kids losers and suckers after the game. I guess they don't do lessons on sportsmanship often enough. Well, it's just motivation for us. We'll strike back.
Some people probably think it's weird that I still have so much involvement with my former halfway school. The kids I coach attend, and are affiliated solely, with the institution. In addition to that, my antithesis of a brother, Jack, is still there, along with Luby. I also tutor kids that attend the school, but that's more so because they actually trust me not to completely eff up their kids' lives. I'm not sure that same level of trust is extended at this place. Uncle Rock is still there as well. I probably talk to Rock once a day now because he's concerned about my well-being at the new halfway school. I told yall he's like an uncle, or a big brother. He's extremely protective of me. Plus he has the best advice and old school sayings, which tend to make me laugh, even if I'm extremely annoyed. I've always got a new story for him, and he's always got a corresponding suggestion.
So, yeah, I'd say it's pretty weird to have such an affiliation, especially when I have such good friends, right down the hall, at my new place of employment. This includes Gobment and her infinite supply of names. I mean it looks like the steroid list in Major League Baseball. Then there's San Marie, who follows me around like a lost puppy, hinging on my every word. I think she just likes to hear me say stupid stuff, which I'm pretty good at. Bless her heart for having to put up with me. Whenever I get on a misogynist rant, Trio has always got my back. At least the 2 of us know a woman's place. Macy is across the hall from me, and she's kinda the 6 degrees of separation link because she knows my stupid brother, Jack. Well, she always makes me feel like I can actually do stuff right. That makes me smile. If not for these folks, I'd probably have to disband the blog because I'd no longer be employed. Yes, it's that bad. All I can say is the following: I'll miss you guys when I'm gone lol. It appears that my quest to extend myself to one facility for consecutive years shall continue on.
And now...........for the main event. It's been an incredibly trying week and a half at the Halfway School. We are working our arses off, and for what? Little thanks, multiple disrespects from uncultured kids, long hours, inferior work spaces, long arse meetings, and last, a bitch in charge. I mean...I wanna keep calling her a bitch, but I feel like the female dogs are gonna be really offended by the comparison. Yall know Cuervo, Griffin, Charles, Giggles, Baajing, Danika, Nothing? Yeah, they are the least of my concerns. I mean, in their defenses, with the exception of Charles, they're still bitches, but to be fair, they got it honest. Having met some of their parents, I see that they were doomed from the time them dang sperms won their respective races. Not to mention, Danika, has made significant improvements as far as reading comprehension. Enough improvement for me to mutter something I never thought I would tell her, "I'm.....proud of you." Charles, though his breath still stinks from time to time, got the 4th highest score in the 4th grade on his major district test, so I can't talk about him academically. Griffin, well I could still talk about him, but I met his mom, and it put so many things into perspective. But man, that boy been coming to school MUSTY!! Straight smellin like brothel genitals...it's been awful. Yet and still, these kids are not the main event, just an introduction to how egregious you have to be to surpass dumb, stank, attitudinal kids.
We all know that very little affects my way of thinking, positively or negatively. I adopted a philosophy a loooong time ago that I really just don't care. As you may know, I've been stripped of certain duties at school, in favor of one who knows far more about the content area than myself. I am fine with that. I don't know everything, not even close. If she is more capable of helping them pass a test and teaching me how to teach towards a test, then more power to her (and ultimately us). The thing is this: I literally could not care less about the grand scheme of these tests, as I don't see the impact they have on their future retention. Basically, they learn how to pass these tests without really retaining any information. Do I think it's wrong to teach them how to pass the tests? No, because we all need employment. I just don't personally value that skill over teaching them to do things in context.
Alas, Tractor and I begin to clash. She claims not to see the "urgency" from me, and I'm clearly incapable of teaching a child how to write. This is ironic because I was actually brought in to do just that. It appears that I am excelling more at the Reading curriculum than the Writing curriculum. Do I get any appreciation for some pretty dang good Reading scores? Of course not. Instead, I just become the scapegoat for things that are going poorly.
It all started when I was told about a list of things I need to turn in weekly, to ensure that I'm being the puppet that she wants me to be. First, I need to score documents and leave copies for her to review. This would have been a cinch. The problem is...I don't have the documents because they were given to the woman who is supposed to be saving my kids from my inadequacy. Ergo, I failed to submit physical copies, even though I met the necessary online requirements. It was at this point that I was warned that I was in danger of receiving a letter of reprimand. That conversation didn't go all that well, yet it still went better than subsequent conversations.
The next thing I am responsible for is submitting several different assignments that they have. That, too, would be a cinch, if I were not deferring to someone else on assignments and class schedule. It is an interesting conundrum, if you will. It has forced me to feel massive levels of disdain and resent for certain individuals, and by individuals, I mean one individual. Anyways, when I submitted my stuff for the week, some things were missing. I didn't do them because the kids were not in my class. Soooo, I got that letter of reprimand that I had previously been threatened with. Fortunately for me, I don't care that much. I'm not gonna start jumping through hoops just because somebody wants to contradict his or herself and make me look like I'm not doing anything. I also think it's classless of someone to try and do things of that nature. Anyways, I survived that meeting by saying "ok" and "uh huh" and, when given my letter, "thank you". She didn't look very happy to get that response.
It all started when I was told about a list of things I need to turn in weekly, to ensure that I'm being the puppet that she wants me to be. First, I need to score documents and leave copies for her to review. This would have been a cinch. The problem is...I don't have the documents because they were given to the woman who is supposed to be saving my kids from my inadequacy. Ergo, I failed to submit physical copies, even though I met the necessary online requirements. It was at this point that I was warned that I was in danger of receiving a letter of reprimand. That conversation didn't go all that well, yet it still went better than subsequent conversations.
The next thing I am responsible for is submitting several different assignments that they have. That, too, would be a cinch, if I were not deferring to someone else on assignments and class schedule. It is an interesting conundrum, if you will. It has forced me to feel massive levels of disdain and resent for certain individuals, and by individuals, I mean one individual. Anyways, when I submitted my stuff for the week, some things were missing. I didn't do them because the kids were not in my class. Soooo, I got that letter of reprimand that I had previously been threatened with. Fortunately for me, I don't care that much. I'm not gonna start jumping through hoops just because somebody wants to contradict his or herself and make me look like I'm not doing anything. I also think it's classless of someone to try and do things of that nature. Anyways, I survived that meeting by saying "ok" and "uh huh" and, when given my letter, "thank you". She didn't look very happy to get that response.
Fast forward to this past week, things have just gotten worse. In the words of somebody famous or smart or something, "Everybody is lobbing paper balls, and you wanna throw bricks, or stones, or something else hard that can knock a nigga out." I paraphrased a little bitch...I mean bit. So during our extremely fun grade-level meeting this week, I was again subjected to tyranny. I mean...I have got to be public enemy number one, and I don't even think it to be close. We can't even discuss things as simple as scheduling and potential conflicts and things of that nature without having a discussion that is less than amicable. That's putting it mildly. This meeting is when she decided to throw something heavier than paper balls; it's also where I decided, with certainty, to be a rogue employee that she will undoubtedly have her hands full with. I apologize in advance to all individuals who get in the line of fire, deliberately or inadvertently.
Tractor: Why aren't the kids going to Reading?
Beloved: They have been leaving to go to the Writing teacher that's better than me.
Tractor: That's not acceptable. And that's not why the scores were low on their last test.
Beloved: Nobody said that was the reason.
Tractor: I didn't say anybody did. I was just saying it in case somebody was thinking it.
Beloved: :-/
Tractor: And let me just say this. None of this would be necessary if they had been getting the instruction they were supposed to be getting in the first place. And I'll just leave it at that.
Shots fired...
Beloved: *smirks unendingly*
Bitch: So ultimately these are your kids so what are we going to do?
Beloved: .............
Tractor Bitch: I'm asking what you want to do. There needs to be a plan.
Less Beloved: ...................
Tractor: I'm not a dictator.
By "I'm not a dictator," she meant, "I am absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt a bitch, I mean dictator."
Tractor: What's the plan?
Beloved: I don't have a plan, and I won't have one any time soon.
Tractor: When there's no plan, I have to come up with one.
Beloved: Well I'll just do whatever you all come up with.
Tractor: But these aren't our kids.
Beloved: Well...I'm inadequate, so I'm not gonna have a plan.
Tractor: You're not inadequate, yo...8sdgfaaohrt a09hst aro 8art nsosjndfa sdflkhiasf sdfkjasgd sdgkha 9arth arotiartoar aoirthaerot a rtsohuakert artaeoriute artg. (Charlie Brown's teacher voice)
Beloved: I don't even know what you just said.
Gobment: Can we do the schedule like th......
Tractor: .....WAIT A MINUTE, THESE AREN'T OUR KIDS, THEY'RE HIS!
Tractor In Extra Bitch Mode: DON'T TRY TO HELP HIM OR I'LL SLAP YO ARSE TOO, THEN TAKE THE TENNIS BALLS OFF OF YOUR WALKER.
Beloved: Why you yelling, bitch?
Ok so the last two didn't happen.
Beloved: Well I don't know.
Tractor: If you will provide them with some extra writing, they should be able to stay and get Reading.
Beloved: Well I won't be doing it the same way other people are doing it, and I'm not gonna teach them the how to memorize papers because I don't know how and don't feel comfortable. *puts foot down*
Tractor: Well I hope while you're saying what you're not going to do, you say what you will do to help them pass this test which is the most important thing they will ever do in their life, and will determine their entire future, plus give them a college degree and job, fresh out of 4th grade.
Beloved (in his head): Bitch, don't you think I've been thinking about that?
Beloved (out loud): *raises eyebrows and shrugs*
Tractor: So we'll have another meeting, masquerading as an official meeting, to discuss future meetings, regarding official meetings, to discuss a plan, next week, so I can berate you more, further denigrating any shred of confidence remaining in your insufficient body.
Beloved: .......
Tractor: Ok?
Beloved: Yep.
And......scene. This is a dramatization, but only slightly. This is the life of one, Behated. I think it will probably get worse because I am stubborn. Hopefully it does not, but I don't know how much self-control I have remaining. As of now, it is occasional snide remarks, but they are becoming increasingly stated. Yall just keep me in mind when you say your prayers. Not because I'm sad or anything, but because I'm dangerous.
On a brighter note, it's Saturday. Ok, so that didn't actually help lol. I'm gonna go exercise and then watch Boy Meets World while thinking of my master plan. Oh wait, I don't have a plan. Until next time...
Be-to-the-Hated
(Formerly Beloved)
Tractor: Why aren't the kids going to Reading?
Beloved: They have been leaving to go to the Writing teacher that's better than me.
Tractor: That's not acceptable. And that's not why the scores were low on their last test.
Beloved: Nobody said that was the reason.
Tractor: I didn't say anybody did. I was just saying it in case somebody was thinking it.
Beloved: :-/
Tractor: And let me just say this. None of this would be necessary if they had been getting the instruction they were supposed to be getting in the first place. And I'll just leave it at that.
Shots fired...
Beloved: *smirks unendingly*
Bitch: So ultimately these are your kids so what are we going to do?
Beloved: .............
Tractor Bitch: I'm asking what you want to do. There needs to be a plan.
Less Beloved: ...................
Tractor: I'm not a dictator.
By "I'm not a dictator," she meant, "I am absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt a bitch, I mean dictator."
Tractor: What's the plan?
Beloved: I don't have a plan, and I won't have one any time soon.
Tractor: When there's no plan, I have to come up with one.
Beloved: Well I'll just do whatever you all come up with.
Tractor: But these aren't our kids.
Beloved: Well...I'm inadequate, so I'm not gonna have a plan.
Tractor: You're not inadequate, yo...8sdgfaaohrt a09hst aro 8art nsosjndfa sdflkhiasf sdfkjasgd sdgkha 9arth arotiartoar aoirthaerot a rtsohuakert artaeoriute artg. (Charlie Brown's teacher voice)
Beloved: I don't even know what you just said.
Gobment: Can we do the schedule like th......
Tractor: .....WAIT A MINUTE, THESE AREN'T OUR KIDS, THEY'RE HIS!
Tractor In Extra Bitch Mode: DON'T TRY TO HELP HIM OR I'LL SLAP YO ARSE TOO, THEN TAKE THE TENNIS BALLS OFF OF YOUR WALKER.
Beloved: Why you yelling, bitch?
Ok so the last two didn't happen.
Beloved: Well I don't know.
Tractor: If you will provide them with some extra writing, they should be able to stay and get Reading.
Beloved: Well I won't be doing it the same way other people are doing it, and I'm not gonna teach them the how to memorize papers because I don't know how and don't feel comfortable. *puts foot down*
Tractor: Well I hope while you're saying what you're not going to do, you say what you will do to help them pass this test which is the most important thing they will ever do in their life, and will determine their entire future, plus give them a college degree and job, fresh out of 4th grade.
Beloved (in his head): Bitch, don't you think I've been thinking about that?
Beloved (out loud): *raises eyebrows and shrugs*
Tractor: So we'll have another meeting, masquerading as an official meeting, to discuss future meetings, regarding official meetings, to discuss a plan, next week, so I can berate you more, further denigrating any shred of confidence remaining in your insufficient body.
Beloved: .......
Tractor: Ok?
Beloved: Yep.
And......scene. This is a dramatization, but only slightly. This is the life of one, Behated. I think it will probably get worse because I am stubborn. Hopefully it does not, but I don't know how much self-control I have remaining. As of now, it is occasional snide remarks, but they are becoming increasingly stated. Yall just keep me in mind when you say your prayers. Not because I'm sad or anything, but because I'm dangerous.
On a brighter note, it's Saturday. Ok, so that didn't actually help lol. I'm gonna go exercise and then watch Boy Meets World while thinking of my master plan. Oh wait, I don't have a plan. Until next time...
Be-to-the-Hated
(Formerly Beloved)
